Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Where would I stand?

12/25/2013

I’m reading an insightful little book that a neighbor brought over for us that suggests ways our families can put the Joy of the season back into our homes.

At one point, the author poses the question, “If you could be one character from the Nativity story, who would you want to be?’
 
I went through each character, and even some of the animals in my mind, and none seemed to fit.  After some pondering, here is my answer:

I want to be the lady next door.  The one who gave Mary cookies when she was little, who was her youth-group leader;  taught her about chastity and honesty and truth.  I want to be the one she confided her news to, the one who accepted her story and loved her and gave her a reassuring hug. Who rejoiced with her, cried with her and worried about her.
 
I want to help her pack and get ready for her journey, show her the latest trend in newborn swaddling, pray for her and her new husband, watch over her house while she’s gone, and then prepare it for her return.

I don’t want my name, or even my acts recorded in the scriptures.  I just want to hold the tiny Christ-child while Mary bathes and naps after her journey. 

I’ll bring her dinner one night when he’s three-months old and all the hoopla has died down, when Mary is surely exhausted and discouraged and can’t even brush her teeth.  I'll listen quietly to her story.
 
Then, if she let me, I'd rock Him while she ate, and bury my face in his hair, inhale his Heavenly sweetness, and secretly wish he were mine, as I do with every other baby on the planet

And I’d have the wordless joy of one who is an instrument in His hands.  I’ll feel the sacred delight of holding one of God’s children, fresh from His presence.  THE CHILD.


And like the accompanist who knows that if she has done her job, chances are that no one will have noticed her at all, I will honored to be like so many other angels around us, who serve and build and bless in small ways each day, and change the world one little act at a time. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Christmas Newsletter


2013 Keeley Family Newsletter

In the spirit of Lemony Snicket’s picture book, “13 Words” which we highly recommend, each of us has summarized the story of our year in 13 words.  Truth in advertizing:  Each person was allowed to give some input, and then the MOTHER chose the 13 words. 
 13 Words By Lemony Snicket Illustrated by Maira Kalman

Prince:  Family history, scout-master, Ancestry.com, hiking, biking, garden, service, wrapped around little fingers

Hot Mama:  The big 4-0, Zupas, goodreads.com, jerianna.blogspot.com, HEALTHY!, content, important, snuggly, amorous, laundry


L:  College, artistic, hilarious, music, bookworm, fangirl, smartical, animal lover, dancer, survivor, insightful, friend


Mr. Cool:  Casanova, unemployed, university student, football, basketball, stud-muffin, “Strong, silent type,” rarely home


Lil' Mama:  StuCo (Student Council—counts as one word), A Capella, “Lagooned”  actress--Granny/Pirate, hiker, chef, aspiring phone owner, socialite


Mr. Lamadingdong:  Dominion board game Supreme Champion, pizza lover, football, night games, aspiring Eagle, scholar




Princess:  kitty-maker, horse riding, reading, writing, Great American 5th Grade Challenger, piano, artist

Sweet P:  math genius, choir, preparing for baptism, styles own hair, piano, fun with friends










Little K:  Kindergarten, biking, gardening, Daddy’s Girl, crocheting, hilarity, My Little Pony, delicious, hysterical, fishing

Little A:  Princess, potty, cross-eyed, swimming, kitties, big-girl bed, “You’re my BEST friend!”












Monday, December 2, 2013

2013 Newsletter

2013 Keeley Family Newsletter

In the spirit of Lemony Snicket’s picture book, “13 Words” which we highly recommend, each of us has summarized the story of our year in 13 words.  Truth in advertizing:  Each person was allowed to give some input, and then the MOTHER chose the 13 words. 


Paul:  Family history, scout-master, Ancestry.com, hiking, biking, garden, service, wrapped around little fingers

Jeri:  The big 4-0, Zupas, goodreads.com, jerianna.blogspot.com, HEALTHY!, content, important, snuggly, amorous, laundry

Liz:  College, artistic, hilarious, music, bookworm, fangirl, smartical, animal lover, dancer, survivor, insightful, friend

Andrew:  Casanova, unemployed, university student, football, basketball, stud-muffin, “Strong, silent type,” rarely home

Mayli:  StuCo (Student Council—counts as one word), A Capella, “Lagooned”  actress--Granny/Pirate, hiker, chef, aspiring phone owner, socialite

Sam:  Dominion board game Supreme Champion, pizza lover, football, night games, aspiring Eagle, scholar

Sarah:  kitty-maker, horse riding, reading, writing, Great American 5th Grade Challenger, piano, artist

Pat:  math genius, choir, preparing for baptism, styles own hair, piano, fun with friends

Kate:  Kindergarten, biking, gardening, Daddy’s Girl, crocheting, hilarity, My Little Pony, delicious, hysterical, fishing

Anna:  Princess, potty, cross-eyed, swimming, kitties, big-girl bed, “You’re my BEST friend!”



Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Oh, Baby!

I've been keeping a series of entries for a while until I was ready to post the entire thing.  They go in order, and are all part of this one big blog entry. Now I'm publishing it so that it can be in my printed book for 2013.
Oh, Baby!

Sweet P
Sept. 27, 2013
My last three pregnancies were pretty brutal, though none of them were very fun.
Little K
Just before I became pregnant with Caboose (who will now be known as "Little A", I knew that she would be the "Grand Finale." 

Varicose veins, preterm labor, a slightly prolapsed uterus, and the previous pregnancies had pushed me to the edge of what I could do.
 The Caboose was actually a leap of faith for us on quite a few levels, but I felt that the Lord wanted us to have her.  
Little A

I was on bed-rest for about half the pregnancy, taking drugs to stop my labor and drugs to survive all the pain I was experiencing.  There were times that I wondered if I would live.  What a relief that all was well!

After Caboose was born, I had a tubal ligation.  I felt very good about this decision, I'd prayed a lot about it, and decided before I even got pregnant that this would be the way I would end the story.

I didn't feel that I could do it again, and that I wouldn't be able to provide another baby with a healthy chance with my broken, gettin'-old body.  It was also getting really hard on all of us for me to be dysfunctional for so long.  Also, we were "all here."
The Whole Gang 2010
Anyone who knows me knows that not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about this with relief and joy.  The childbirth/nursing years of my life were VERY challenging, and I've been so very thankful to have survived that era and moved on.
Aunt Jeri in her new role as "One who travels with Grandma to help when new babies are born in the family."
(With baby Aliza.)
This past summer, in an attempt to further my health goals, Lil' Mama and I were walking (she was running) the track one beautiful day.  As I watched her lap me, I fell into a rhythm of prayer and thought and gratitude.  


Suddenly, my peace was fractured by a little thought planted by my loving Heavenly Father.  He asked me what I would think about having another child.  I responded that I couldn't pray a lie.
He asked me to consider the idea.  I said I would.

I talked to Handsome, who for a split second got a "Deer-in-the-headlights" look, and then just flipped back into his, "She's crazy as a loon" posture, when I assured him that I didn't want to reverse the tube tying.  

Yeah, sure.  He was fine with it.  If it happened.  Which it wouldn't.

I reported back to God that we were OK with it.  I then prayed that He would help me to truly be OK with it if it was really His will.  Because honestly I just wanted to do His will in everything.  And I trust Him.  And I love Him.  And I would NEVER want to leave anyone behind.  And how could I NOT want another baby, you know?

But.  There are a lot of buts.  None of which I'm sharing here, because ultimately they don't matter.

So.  A month went by, and my heart changed.  Gradually.

And then one day at church I had another little insight.  If I actually am able to conceive, with this raggedy old body, in spite of the "double knots" I requested on my tubes and we are able to welcome another little person into our home, THIS WILL BE A MIRACLE!

I was treating a potential miracle as though it were a great sacrifice on my part (which it is), to be dreaded and lived through and tolerated.  I wanted to make my Heavenly Father happy, but I was completely overlooking the fact that He would be blessing ME, not the other way around.  He was offering me an unbelievable blessing!
So, I was given to know that if it were going to happen, I would need to desire it and actively seek it.

First, I prayed for the desire.  Then, I fervently prayed for the miracle.


To his everlasting credit, Handsome Prince joined me in the prayers.  

I started taking prenatal vitamins.  I slowly weaned myself off of the beta-blocker and the anti-seizure meds that I take for migraines.  This I did without medical consent or supervision--what could I say?  "I'm praying to have another baby, and I don't want to be taking anything harmful when I get pregnant."  Right.

And on about day 16 of my cycle, I started feeling nauseated.  (It happened that early when  I was pregnant with Mr. Lamadingdong.)

By day 18, I had my first migraine, which I only dared take Tylenol for.  I was also exhausted.  

Handsome, of course, quietly started taking on more dishes and childcare duties.  You gotta love that guy.

I can't help thinking that more than 20 years ago, I spent an entire year trying desperately to get pregnant with our first.  I wondered if I could even conceive, and if my life would have any meaning at all if I couldn't.  (Now, we barely make eye contact...)

What a miracle, that since then we've welcomed eight healthy children into our home!  

How amazing will it be, if there is one more, in spite of everything?

I want the record to show that this baby is very much wanted.
__________________________________________________________________________
October 1, 2013
I'm now 25 days into the cycle, so I won't test positive for another week or two.  (I haven't even tried to take a test, yet.  I always have early symptoms and late positive results on those stupid tests.)  When I had the migraine last week, I was afraid.  I was completely off all migraine medicines, and knew that I could potentially have a migraine every day for the undetermined amount of time.  (Could go on a long time if I'm not currently pregnant and don't dare take anything for as long as it takes.) 

It was one thing to commit to the new life, even fully knowing how bad it could get, but still another to feel the pain and illness.  I was miserable.

It dawned on me that my Savior had asked to have "This Cup" removed, but had gone on to do our Heavenly Father's will so that I could have life.  In a small way, I understood this in a way I had never considered before.
And I feel so very grateful.  Not only did He make it so that my sins could be white as snow, and  break the bonds of death, He also took upon Himself my pain and sufferings.  Oh, how I love my Savior!
I felt that I was being given another chance to say no, and I struggled to be like Jesus.  Again, I committed that I would trust the Lord, and gave thanks for the opportunity to participate in a miracle.  I begged Him not to change His mind.
Since then, my nausea has been more manageable, but I have only had ONE mild migraine since then.  That in itself is a miracle!

I am so thankful that God would include me in such a sacred trust.  I feel enveloped in His Love. 
_________________________________________________
Oct. 5, 2013
Woke up so tired this morning, and slept off and on through conference until about 11:30.
About noon I spotted once, and then again at 5:00.
Trying to trust that whatever happens is what should happen.  I was pretty disappointed when I spotted the first time.  Now I just don't know what will happen.
I know Heavenly Father loves me, and that miracles happen.
_________________________________________________
Dec. 2, 2013
I believe that I lost a baby in October.  Since then, I've been having regular cycles.  I'm still fasting and praying, but now it is with gratitude and a desire to always have my will aligned with His.  The miracle came, by the way, only a different one than I thought:

  It's been almost two months since I had a migraine!  With NO migraine medicine!  It's been over 3 1/2 years since that has happened!

I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

HAPPY DAYS


This morning I woke up to a snuggle bug.  She started the day with a phrase I'll probably hear 50 times today, "Mama, I wub you.  You are my BEST FRIEND!" 

She was a "frizzle puff" as her daddy likes to say, and she was cuddly and soft.  When I attempted to get up, she and her sister, Little K, forced me to burrow back in for more.  Daddy had to eat her toes to set me free.

We kicked everyone out the door and then shared a dance, some PB&Js, a banana and a tall glass of milk.



My life is so good!


Saturday, September 14, 2013

Letters to Liz

Nellie L is officially a grown-up and gets to use her real name on the blog.  Liz has now moved out and is beginning the FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF HER LIFE at college!  Go LIZ!

Here is her new apartment:
Not her real kitchen: long story--hers looks a lot like it

Also not her living room--you get the idea.

Really her bedroom-we made the top bunk later.

The other side of the room--she doesn't have to share.  Hooray!  Only 4 girls in the apartment--all of them are friends.

Dear Liz,

I am so happy that you are all settled in and ready for your first semester at BYU-I!  This is going to be such an amazing experience for you.  I love the spirit of the school, and the sweet roommates you ended up with, and your cute bedroom. 

I know I just left, and talked your ear off this weekend, but I'd like to give you a few words of wisdom, having, "Been There and Done That."

TEN THINGS TO DO EVERY DAY

1. Pray on your own, and with your room-mates.  Pray for your roommates by name.  It's hard to be angry with each other if you're praying for each other.

2.  Serve someone every day.  Pray for opportunities.  Keep your eyes open.

3. Take Care of Your Body: Eat healthy food.  Don't skip meals.  Exercise.  Sleep.  Go to bed at night.

4.  Keep the Rules.  They're there for your safety.

5.  Do Something Each Day to Fill Your Own Cup.  

6.  Forgive others freely.  Do your best, apologize when you're wrong, keep trying, and forgive yourself, also.

7.  Smile a lot.  Look people in the eyes and smile.  Learn and use names.

8.  Do Something You Don't Want to Do, That Needs to Be Done, every day.  This is part of being an adult.

9.  Find Things to Be Grateful For.  Write them down.  Express gratitude.

 10.  Have Courage.  Step out of your comfort zone.  Stretch.  Follow promptings.  Take a deep breath and dive in.  DARE TO DO RIGHT.  

I love you.  This seems short, but don't despair, there will be more profound words of wisdom to come.


Love,
Mom
Wait, there's one more, and it's important:
11.  Show Up:  BE where you're supposed to be, be early, be prepared, be fully present and stay until it's over.  My Mama always used to say, "Half of life is knowing where you're supposed to be and then BEING there!"  (Then she'd put her teeth in and try to leave the Home.)

Mr. Cool would like to add:  "Turn on the fan when you're using the bathroom, because I know how you smell."

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Back to School and Other Ethical Dilemnas



Little K goes to Kindergarten!
More pictures below.
BUT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT 
Mr. Lamadingdong.  
He's a really great young man.  Smart--just tested into all of the "Gifted and Talented" academy classes.  His teachers always comment that they love having him in class; he can sit next to anyone and get along.  He's a good friend, easygoing and likable.
He's humble and agreeable.  Really never in trouble.  And if anyone in our home is going to slip through the cracks at school, it's this one.
When he hits a challenge, you can almost see him physically push his head against it and hunker down until it's conquered.  Works hard.  (Has a "Math Brain," but not a "Spelling Brain" and thus if he studied for the test, would get an A, if not, an F.  Really no in-between.)


This was the 3 year-old who would "read" a chapter book for half an hour at a time, patiently turning the pages systematically, even though he couldn't read a word.  
He has a tender heart, and is very physical.  He's hard on shoes and goes through them so fast that now he wears reinforced hiking boots on a regular basis.

Mr. L was registered as a 7th grader for: 8th grade advanced math, academy English and History, band, Russian, and the other Jr. High classes at the local Jr. High.  His locker combination was a palindrome (YES!) and he was at his first day of school when the preppy elitist public charter school down the street called to say that he had "won the lottery" and was next on the waiting list, if he'd like to enroll.
    
It is a "public, independently operated charter school with an open admissions policy.  It serves ...7th to 12 graders....small classes, a student/teacher ratio of 22 to 1, and an advanced core curriculum designed for college-bound students."  The students wear uniforms.  There are no cafeteria services, so they bring lunch from home.  The school day is longer, and there are some great travel abroad opportunities throughout the school year.  The school focuses on helping students stay organized and helping each child succeed.

  Each parent is expected to volunteer at the school at least 40 hours a year and record those hours on the school site.  There is no transportation.  
Basically, even though it is "public school" and there are no blatant racial or economic barriers, like my friend Jaime so eloquently puts it on her recent blog post, here: http://jaimejenett.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-love-letter-to-middle-class-white.html  my son is Nemo, and this is his anemone.

The school basically eliminates the knotheads, ding-a-lings, and riff-raff.  But if you were the low income kid of an illegal alien, you'd have to be pretty motivated to succeed here.  They're pushing for excellence, and if you're not working, you're not gonna get "left behind" you're gonna get "kicked out." (They had waivers and used clothing for sale, but it was the wrong size and beat up.  You'd have to walk or bike, and what about the parent volunteer hours and the online access stuff?)  But I know for a fact that if you wanted it badly enough, they'd kill themselves to make it happen for you.  They would.  You'd have to provide the courage and the drive, but they would get you there. These people care and they care BIG, and so do the parents involved.  You'd have a family, carpool and mentors, and it wouldn't end when school was out.

The uniform polo-type shirts are about $25 a pop.  (He owns exactly 2.  He changes after he bikes in from school, and I wash.)  The dockers pants we bought at Savers.  The cardigan, (Sigh.  Yes, my son owns a cardigan.  The poor Jr. High kids wear a cardigan.  "Hey, son!  Get in the car!  Let's go buy you a cardigan!"  A freakin' EXPENSIVE cardigan.  Which he'll guard with his life, wear on "Formal Mondays" with a white shirt, dockers and tie, and then graduate to a blazer when he's in HS.  Poor kid.  A  red cardigan.) oh, the cardigan.
  There are no online pictures of a boy wearing these.  Can't imagine why.

Anyway.  

So they called and told me the good news about his acceptance, and I called the Jr. High and told him.  He said, "Eh. Nah."

I knew that he was ready to just settle in with Mediocre Jr. High, so I scheduled a tour.  Sadly, the thing that sold him at the Academy was the amazing Basketball team which took State last year.  Their "Starters" all moved on to the HS team, and Fergus was pretty much guaranteed a hot position.  (He's a big kid, and a good player.)  He was sold, I was STOKED and we transferred him.

It took two days.

When I was at college becoming a teacher, all of the talk about the voucher system, charter schools, home schooling and the problems with education was just heating up.  I had some pretty passionate ideas as an educator, and I have some now as a mother.  Some are the same, and some have changed.

Basically I believe that:
1.  Education is one of the main keys to happiness, freedom, and success.
2.  Most people are doing the best they can with what they have.
3.  We should make decisions in education based on what is best for the child.
4.  Homeschooling is a final desperation option, and it comes just before suicide.  (Ha!  I crack me up.  But.  Seriously.)  I'd like to think I home-school them after school with "enrichment programs."
I feel better when I think that.

Moving on:
When we were walking the halls of the old Jr. High, one of the administrators stopped us and asked why we were transferring.  I just let my son go on about the basketball program.  Mr. Admin asked, "But what if our school had a basketball team?  Would you have stayed?"
I know that the administration at the old school is doing their best.  They have several programs in place that are good, and they are working to help the children.  I know that they care.  They are meeting with each child to help them set goals for the future.  They have the older students mentor the younger ones.  They use positive rewards to reinforce good behaviors, and involve the community.  There are good teachers, and good advisers.    
The problem is that it is all geared toward leaving no child behind.  

There are so many children in that school who are at risk of being left behind, that all of the focus is on them.  This is good.  They deserve an education.  As we lift them, we lift society.  

My children, however, have discovered that as long as they are not being left behind, they can coast sometimes.  
*My daughter's 8th grade Advanced English class was dismayed when their standardized essay tests came back GRADED BY A COMPUTER!!!  

*When we transferred to the school, Mr. Cool was unable to be in the 9th grade Advanced English class, after two years of Advanced English in our previous state with A grades, because the class was full--he was #17 on the waiting list.  (They couldn't open up a new class?)

*But, there is a choir teacher there who sings with the MoTabs (Mormon Tabernacle Choir, you Gentiles) who can get kids motivated in a way that brings tears to your eyes.  She can play the piano, lead a group of 200 kids, and keep it going in a 50 year old auditorium even when the lights have gone out and it's 100 degrees.  I get the feeling that she'd teach even if they charged her money to do it.  She's changed my daughter's life forever.

Still, there are too many children, too much expected of the teachers and administration, too many government hands in the goulash, and not enough freedom for those who should have it.  The local and national government just keep tightening the noose, and setting up the system for failure.  In my opinion, anyway.  I'm just not too keen on the new little "grading system" the state legislature decided to rush through.  I think we're about to need some Tylenol.  And don't even get me started about Core Curriculum.

Whatever.  It all boils down to this:  for this one child, in this one situation, this new school is the best choice.  We chose to do the best thing for this one child.  (22 kids in a class!  They learn Latin!)

Maybe what this child needed was for a busy mother of eight to devote two entire days and several hundred dollars to his education.
Maybe he needed to see that he is so important, that I am willing to drop everything during one of the busiest weeks of my life to focus on getting him into the best learning environment.  

Possibly, he needed to watch us dip into precious savings to pay the extra $250 registration fees, $150 clothing purchases, and $150 school supplies to make everything exactly right for him to begin the first day of the rest of his life in his new school. Possibly he was needing a nifty red cardigan.

He needed to have undivided attention and hours of pep talk about his career and education goals.  He needed to know that a lot hinges on the choices that he will make in the next 10 years of his life.  He needed to know that he is not just a number, that it's not a game, that HIS LIFE IS IMPORTANT.  

When he knows all these things, he can go out into the world and resume his functions as a friend, as a well-educated contributor to society, as a mentor.  When he sees how a good school system works, he can help other schools to function in better ways.

He would have been successful in the old school, he was a good student, self-motivated and a had worker before.  But he has stepped it up a notch.  He's a better student, and has grown already.  This was a good move for him.
Lil' Mama is a Freshman--still in Jr. High
QUEEN OF THE SCHOOL
I'm not saying that everyone needs to transfer to his school.  In fact, my 9th grader is still in the old school.  She is one of the student council, one of the mentors.  Mrs. Kingman invited her to be in A Capella choir, and she made it into advanced Drama.  She is taking advantage of  the honors classes that are offered, and trying to decide where to go to High School next year.  Whatever she decides, we'll support her.
And she's helping the administration with their school standardized test averages by writing papers that the computer likes.  (Heaven help us!)


Here are some more Back to School photos:
Princess (5th) and Little P (2nd)


The bicycle brigade--there are 9 kids in the cul-de-sac that ride together







Princess holds the door for Little P

Inside the school





Mr. Cool is a Junior at the other Charter school.  When he graduates next year, he'll have his Associate's Degree, also.

And Nellie L leaves this Thursday for the University to begin life as a Freshman adult.  'Cause I live in the Twilight Zone.

That will make 7 children in 5 different schools, and the caboose at home.  Giddyap!