Where would I stand?

12/25/2013

I’m reading an insightful little book that a neighbor brought over for us that suggests ways our families can put the Joy of the season back into our homes.

At one point, the author poses the question, “If you could be one character from the Nativity story, who would you want to be?’

 

I went through each character, and even some of the animals in my mind, and none seemed to fit.  After some pondering, here is my answer:

I want to be the lady next door.  The one who gave Mary cookies when she was little, who was her youth-group leader;  taught her about chastity and honesty and truth.  I want to be the one she confided her news to, the one who accepted her story and loved her and gave her a reassuring hug. Who rejoiced with her, cried with her and worried about her.

 

I want to help her pack and get ready for her journey, show her the latest trend in newborn swaddling, pray for her and her new husband, watch over her house while she’s gone, and then prepare it for her return.

I don’t want my name, or even my acts recorded in the scriptures.  I just want to hold the tiny Christ-child while Mary bathes and naps after her journey. 

I’ll bring her dinner one night when he’s three-months old and all the hoopla has died down, when Mary is surely exhausted and discouraged and can’t even brush her teeth.  I'll listen quietly to her story.

 

Then, if she let me, I'd rock Him while she ate, and bury my face in his hair, inhale his Heavenly sweetness, and secretly wish he were mine, as I do with every other baby on the planet. 

And I’d have the wordless joy of one who is an instrument in His hands.  I’ll feel the sacred delight of holding one of God’s children, fresh from His presence.  THE CHILD.

And like the accompanist who knows that if she has done her job, chances are that no one will have noticed her at all, I will honored to be like so many other angels around us, who serve and build and bless in small ways each day, and change the world one little act at a time. 

Christmas Newsletter

2013 Keeley Family Newsletter

In the spirit of Lemony Snicket’s picture book, “13 Words” which we highly recommend, each of us has summarized the story of our year in 13 words.  Truth in advertizing:  Each person was allowed to give some input, and then the MOTHER chose the 13 words. 

 

Prince:  Family history, scout-master, Ancestry.com, hiking, biking, garden, service, wrapped around little fingers

Hot Mama:  The big 4-0, Zupas, goodreads.com, jerianna.blogspot.com, HEALTHY!, content, important, snuggly, amorous, laundry

L:  College, artistic, hilarious, music, bookworm, fangirl, smartical, animal lover, dancer, survivor, insightful, friend

Mr. Cool:  Casanova, unemployed, university student, football, basketball, stud-muffin, “Strong, silent type,” rarely home

Lil' Mama:  StuCo (Student Council—counts as one word), A Capella, “Lagooned”  actress--Granny/Pirate, hiker, chef, aspiring phone owner, socialite

Mr. Lamadingdong:  Dominion board game Supreme Champion, pizza lover, football, night games, aspiring Eagle, scholar

Princess:  kitty-maker, horse riding, reading, writing, Great American 5^th Grade Challenger, piano, artist

Sweet P:  math genius, choir, preparing for baptism, styles own hair, piano, fun with friends

Little K:  Kindergarten, biking, gardening, Daddy’s Girl, crocheting, hilarity, My Little Pony, delicious, hysterical, fishing

Little A:  Princess, potty, cross-eyed, swimming, kitties, big-girl bed, “You’re my BEST friend!”

2013 Newsletter

2013 Keeley Family Newsletter

In the spirit of Lemony Snicket’s picture book, “13 Words” which we highly recommend, each of us has summarized the story of our year in 13 words.  Truth in advertizing:  Each person was allowed to give some input, and then the MOTHER chose the 13 words. 

Paul:  Family history, scout-master, Ancestry.com, hiking, biking, garden, service, wrapped around little fingers

Jeri:  The big 4-0, Zupas, goodreads.com, jerianna.blogspot.com, HEALTHY!, content, important, snuggly, amorous, laundry

Liz:  College, artistic, hilarious, music, bookworm, fangirl, smartical, animal lover, dancer, survivor, insightful, friend

Andrew:  Casanova, unemployed, university student, football, basketball, stud-muffin, “Strong, silent type,” rarely home

Mayli:  StuCo (Student Council—counts as one word), A Capella, “Lagooned”  actress--Granny/Pirate, hiker, chef, aspiring phone owner, socialite

Sam:  Dominion board game Supreme Champion, pizza lover, football, night games, aspiring Eagle, scholar

Sarah:  kitty-maker, horse riding, reading, writing, Great American 5^th Grade Challenger, piano, artist

Pat:  math genius, choir, preparing for baptism, styles own hair, piano, fun with friends

Kate:  Kindergarten, biking, gardening, Daddy’s Girl, crocheting, hilarity, My Little Pony, delicious, hysterical, fishing

Anna:  Princess, potty, cross-eyed, swimming, kitties, big-girl bed, “You’re my BEST friend!”

Oh, Baby!

I've been keeping a series of entries for a while until I was ready to post the entire thing.  They go in order, and are all part of this one big blog entry. Now I'm publishing it so that it can be in my printed book for 2013.

Oh, Baby!

Sweet P

Sept. 27, 2013

My last three pregnancies were pretty brutal, though none of them were very fun.

Little K

Just before I became pregnant with Caboose (who will now be known as "Little A", I knew that she would be the "Grand Finale." 

Varicose veins, preterm labor, a slightly prolapsed uterus, and the previous pregnancies had pushed me to the edge of what I could do.
 The Caboose was actually a leap of faith for us on quite a few levels, but I felt that the Lord wanted us to have her.  

Little A

I was on bed-rest for about half the pregnancy, taking drugs to stop my labor and drugs to survive all the pain I was experiencing.  There were times that I wondered if I would live.  What a relief that all was well!

After Caboose was born, I had a tubal ligation.  I felt very good about this decision, I'd prayed a lot about it, and decided before I even got pregnant that this would be the way I would end the story.

I didn't feel that I could do it again, and that I wouldn't be able to provide another baby with a healthy chance with my broken, gettin'-old body.  It was also getting really hard on all of us for me to be dysfunctional for so long.  Also, we were "all here."

The Whole Gang 2010

Anyone who knows me knows that not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about this with relief and joy.  The childbirth/nursing years of my life were VERY challenging, and I've been so very thankful to have survived that era and moved on.

Aunt Jeri in her new role as "One who travels with Grandma to help when new babies are born in the family."
(With baby Aliza.)

This past summer, in an attempt to further my health goals, Lil' Mama and I were walking (she was running) the track one beautiful day.  As I watched her lap me, I fell into a rhythm of prayer and thought and gratitude.  


Suddenly, my peace was fractured by a little thought planted by my loving Heavenly Father.  He asked me what I would think about having another child.  I responded that I couldn't pray a lie.
He asked me to consider the idea.  I said I would.

I talked to Handsome, who for a split second got a "Deer-in-the-headlights" look, and then just flipped back into his, "She's crazy as a loon" posture, when I assured him that I didn't want to reverse the tube tying.  

Yeah, sure.  He was fine with it.  If it happened.  Which it wouldn't.

I reported back to God that we were OK with it.  I then prayed that He would help me to truly be OK with it if it was really His will.  Because honestly I just wanted to do His will in everything.  And I trust Him.  And I love Him.  And I would NEVER want to leave anyone behind.  And how could I NOT want another baby, you know?

But.  There are a lot of buts.  None of which I'm sharing here, because ultimately they don't matter.

So.  A month went by, and my heart changed.  Gradually.

And then one day at church I had another little insight.  If I actually am able to conceive, with this raggedy old body, in spite of the "double knots" I requested on my tubes and we are able to welcome another little person into our home, THIS WILL BE A MIRACLE!

I was treating a potential miracle as though it were a great sacrifice on my part (which it is), to be dreaded and lived through and tolerated.  I wanted to make my Heavenly Father happy, but I was completely overlooking the fact that He would be blessing ME, not the other way around.  He was offering me an unbelievable blessing!
So, I was given to know that if it were going to happen, I would need to desire it and actively seek it.

First, I prayed for the desire.  Then, I fervently prayed for the miracle.


To his everlasting credit, Handsome Prince joined me in the prayers.  

I started taking prenatal vitamins.  I slowly weaned myself off of the beta-blocker and the anti-seizure meds that I take for migraines.  This I did without medical consent or supervision--what could I say?  "I'm praying to have another baby, and I don't want to be taking anything harmful when I get pregnant."  Right.

And on about day 16 of my cycle, I started feeling nauseated.  (It happened that early when  I was pregnant with Mr. Lamadingdong.)

By day 18, I had my first migraine, which I only dared take Tylenol for.  I was also exhausted.  

Handsome, of course, quietly started taking on more dishes and childcare duties.  You gotta love that guy.

I can't help thinking that more than 20 years ago, I spent an entire year trying desperately to get pregnant with our first.  I wondered if I could even conceive, and if my life would have any meaning at all if I couldn't.  (Now, we barely make eye contact...)

What a miracle, that since then we've welcomed eight healthy children into our home!  

How amazing will it be, if there is one more, in spite of everything?

I want the record to show that this baby is very much wanted.
__________________________________________________________________________

October 1, 2013

I'm now 25 days into the cycle, so I won't test positive for another week or two.  (I haven't even tried to take a test, yet.  I always have early symptoms and late positive results on those stupid tests.)  When I had the migraine last week, I was afraid.  I was completely off all migraine medicines, and knew that I could potentially have a migraine every day for the undetermined amount of time.  (Could go on a long time if I'm not currently pregnant and don't dare take anything for as long as it takes.) 

It was one thing to commit to the new life, even fully knowing how bad it could get, but still another to feel the pain and illness.  I was miserable.

It dawned on me that my Savior had asked to have "This Cup" removed, but had gone on to do our Heavenly Father's will so that I could have life.  In a small way, I understood this in a way I had never considered before.

And I feel so very grateful.  Not only did He make it so that my sins could be white as snow, and  break the bonds of death, He also took upon Himself my pain and sufferings.  Oh, how I love my Savior!

I felt that I was being given another chance to say no, and I struggled to be like Jesus.  Again, I committed that I would trust the Lord, and gave thanks for the opportunity to participate in a miracle.  I begged Him not to change His mind.

Since then, my nausea has been more manageable, but I have only had ONE mild migraine since then.  That in itself is a miracle!

I am so thankful that God would include me in such a sacred trust.  I feel enveloped in His Love. 

_________________________________________________

Oct. 5, 2013

Woke up so tired this morning, and slept off and on through conference until about 11:30.

About noon I spotted once, and then again at 5:00.

Trying to trust that whatever happens is what should happen.  I was pretty disappointed when I spotted the first time.  Now I just don't know what will happen.

I know Heavenly Father loves me, and that miracles happen.
_________________________________________________

Dec. 2, 2013

I believe that I lost a baby in October.  Since then, I've been having regular cycles.  I'm still fasting and praying, but now it is with gratitude and a desire to always have my will aligned with His.  The miracle came, by the way, only a different one than I thought:

  It's been almost two months since I had a migraine!  With NO migraine medicine!  It's been over 3 1/2 years since that has happened!

I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

HAPPY DAYS

This morning I woke up to a snuggle bug.  She started the day with a phrase I'll probably hear 50 times today, "Mama, I wub you.  You are my BEST FRIEND!" 

She was a "frizzle puff" as her daddy likes to say, and she was cuddly and soft.  When I attempted to get up, she and her sister, Little K, forced me to burrow back in for more.  Daddy had to eat her toes to set me free.

We kicked everyone out the door and then shared a dance, some PB&Js, a banana and a tall glass of milk.

My life is so good!

Letters to Liz

Nellie L is officially a grown-up and gets to use her real name on the blog.  Liz has now moved out and is beginning the FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF HER LIFE at college!  Go LIZ!

Here is her new apartment:

Not her real kitchen: long story--hers looks a lot like it

Also not her living room--you get the idea.

Really her bedroom-we made the top bunk later.

The other side of the room--she doesn't have to share.  Hooray!  Only 4 girls in the apartment--all of them are friends.

Dear Liz,

I am so happy that you are all settled in and ready for your first semester at BYU-I!  This is going to be such an amazing experience for you.  I love the spirit of the school, and the sweet roommates you ended up with, and your cute bedroom. 

I know I just left, and talked your ear off this weekend, but I'd like to give you a few words of wisdom, having, "Been There and Done That."

TEN THINGS TO DO EVERY DAY

1. Pray on your own, and with your room-mates.  Pray for your roommates by name.  It's hard to be angry with each other if you're praying for each other.

2.  Serve someone every day.  Pray for opportunities.  Keep your eyes open.

3. Take Care of Your Body: Eat healthy food.  Don't skip meals.  Exercise.  Sleep.  Go to bed at night.

4.  Keep the Rules.  They're there for your safety.

5.  Do Something Each Day to Fill Your Own Cup.  

6.  Forgive others freely.  Do your best, apologize when you're wrong, keep trying, and forgive yourself, also.

7.  Smile a lot.  Look people in the eyes and smile.  Learn and use names.

8.  Do Something You Don't Want to Do, That Needs to Be Done, every day.  This is part of being an adult.

9.  Find Things to Be Grateful For.  Write them down.  Express gratitude.

 10.  Have Courage.  Step out of your comfort zone.  Stretch.  Follow promptings.  Take a deep breath and dive in.  DARE TO DO RIGHT.  

I love you.  This seems short, but don't despair, there will be more profound words of wisdom to come.

Love,

Mom

Wait, there's one more, and it's important:

11.  Show Up:  BE where you're supposed to be, be early, be prepared, be fully present and stay until it's over.  My Mama always used to say, "Half of life is knowing where you're supposed to be and then BEING there!"  (Then she'd put her teeth in and try to leave the Home.)

Mr. Cool would like to add:  "Turn on the fan when you're using the bathroom, because I know how you smell."