Friday, December 2, 2011

Moppin' Like My Mama

If my mother is ever famous for anything--other than her singing, of course--view detailsit will be because of her immaculate kitchen floors.  Even when things were at their worst, there was never a time in my memory that one couldn't eat off her squeaky-clean floor. Domestic household kitchen(Simulation)

So I got the message--if the kitchen floor is clean, everything is all right.  Kind of like how one can tell immediately which patients in the hospital are the sickest just by looking at their hair.  Screen Beans character pulling hair out in frustration One can tell how insane Mama is just by looking at the kitchen floor.

"Let's mop the floor!"  I announced brightly this morning to the three tiny people velcroed to me.  Sadly, I couldn't remember the last time it had been more than damage-control washed.

Woman shoulders down standing at a kitchen sink wearing blue rubber gloves
So we picked up all the stickers and dolls and dirty socks and cookie cutters and shredded papers and shoes and mittens and pokemon cards.
Then I swept.  As I looked for the dustpan Little P finished sweeping for me.  So I swept again.view details  Let the dog out. Picked up all the measuring cups, spoons and canning tools that Caboose had emptied from the drawer.  Then I swept the pancake that Caboose had shredded.  I started to mop.  Answered the phone, changed a poopy diaper, Person handling two telephone calls at onceanswered the phone again and picked up all the contents of the previously mentioned drawer.  Then I washed Caboose's face and wiped Little K's nose.  Mopped another section.  Put all the measuring stuff back into the drawer and quickly mopped that section, and then washed Caboose's face again and put the markers away. I let the dog in.Beagle dog standing in the grass
Cartoon image of four kids dancing and celebratingThen I hung 15 paper snowflakes on the fridge, swept up the little papers and quickly took the scissors away from Caboose.  After putting a band-aid on Little K's finger where Caboose had tried to remove it, I mopped the final section. While I changed Caboose's shirt, Little P mopped some of the places I must have missed.  Anime boy water skiingWhile Little K changed her own clothes, I dried the floor where she had slipped and tossed all the wet clothes and towels down the laundry shoot, wiped up the final puddles and surveyed the job site. view details

And, even though it will probably never be completely clean all at once, I know in my heart that underneath all the paw prints, shredded kleenex and barbie barbering that it is pristine.  Sigh.

Mother's Day

I have to wonder how my mom did it.

 I have a vague memory of us all, little dog included, sitting in a row on the edge of the carpet, watching her mop the clean floor.  Not one of us would ever have dared step on it while it was in progress.  Huh.


Marlene K said...

This episode reminds me of a cake i made once. I now call it paper-clip cake....remind me to tell you about it sometime! Fun times.

Shennie said...

I love this post. So true to life.
I remember watching from the carpet as my mom mopped the floor. And then we would insist that we needed to get to the other side of the room just so we could scoot across the room on towels. It was so fun... for me...

Kings daughter said...

I find this absolutely true. And also, I am reminded that I am GLAD I no longer have toddlers. I have emerged on the other side alive and well.....however!....I do find similarities between your velcro kids and my teens....isn't that ironic?? Love you much!