Wednesday, October 17, 2012


Our Dear Leader's wife, Michelle Obama, in all her wisdom has become the "Lunch Czar."

She has made it her personal quest to show children throughout the nation that YES WE CAN make school lunches even less desirable than they previously were.

Think back to your school lunch experience as a child. Thought you could repress those moments, didn't'cha?  Fond memories of dish soap in brownies, stimulating games of Guess That "Cook's Choice" Origin, and trying to dodge the sturdy aide with the mole-whisker guarding the trash can.  "Go BACK and eat your beans, kid!"

Oh, for the good ole' days!

My kids came home complaining that their oranges had green fuzz growing on them, and the apples weren't ripe.  "But I ate them anyway, so I could get a token for the school store!"

They're paying my children to eat their sub-par lunch!  Unbelievable.

(I can just hear the discussion in the PTA meeting--"How can we get the kids to eat the required amount of fresh fruits and vegetables?  I know!  Let's give them a token for the school store!")

Hey, folks!  I know!  Ooh, ooh, choose me!  Why don't we actually give them FRESH fresh fruits and vegetables, and then teach good nutrition and model good behavior?

Now, at our house, the decision to eat school lunch or to brown-bag it is left up to each child.  I try to have healthy snack and all-you-can-eat peanut butter available 24-7.  We keep $ in their accounts.  If one of my kiddos is eating school lunch, it's either out of desire, or laziness.

Carol Brady, I am not.  I refuse to stand at the counter making individualized school lunches each morning.  My tender self-esteem can barely handle all of the negative feedback at dinnertime.  The last thing I want to hear as each cherub walks through the door from school is, "You made my lunch wrong!"  And I am NOT creating a token economy for lunch consumption. 

(Besides, in the mornings I'm rocking my baby 'cause babies don't keep.)

Illustration Hungry Kid by Alexander Hunter for The Washington Times       

New Math

After school is like a locust invasion, and I usually have a selection of  nutritious and also not-so-healthy snacks for them and their buddies when they arrive home.

So I say, "What the heck?" (That's Utahspeak) "You get a token if you eat your rotten fruit?"  Apparently so.

Don't eat the fruit!  (And for Heaven's sake, DON'T drink the Kool-Aid!)

Each of my Nellies has been instructed to tell the lunch lady, "I refuse to participate in your socialist agenda."

And the moral of this story is...My kids will do just about anything for tokens.


Hikari Ataeru said...

I read your blog. I kept waiting for the photo of Michelle to turn into the wicked witch of the east, scream, melt and destroy your complete blog. You got a lot of guts taking on the school lunch program. I remember begging the lunch ladies at my school for a second half of a cheese sandwich. Seemed like I was a good eater then too. rr

Cummings said...

I love you, Jeri, and I love your blog...thanks for making me laugh tonight!