Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Quest for Barbie Continues with Dressmaking

I love the gospel (good news) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  This is a huge blessing to me personally and to many others.  It's my whole life!  I love the Savior!

But, there's also the church culture,  which emerges from living in a fishbowl of Mormons, which is my reality now.  (I currently belong to the "Psychotic Mommy" subgroup, but I'm right on the cusp of the "Molly Mormons" and ultimately aspire for the "Polly Perfects" or even the unobtainable "Barbies")In my efforts to fit in, I have made a "Bucket List" of sorts, and now have one more item to check off.

1.  Take Cheerios to church in a Tupperware container    

2.  Place my hand on my chest and wave the tears away as I get emotional in church   

3.  Clean my house         (It happened once, I swear!)

4.  Bear a ghastly amount of children.  

5.  Produce an Eagle Scout.   (In a few years, my second Eagle will bump me up a level for sure!)

6.  Bake bread, can fruit, and freeze pre-cooked hamburger for easy casserole making.

7. Do family history research. 
8.  Service projects.  (To tell the full truth, though, Brother and Sister Obama and Brother Clinton weren't in on the ones I've done.  This is just a random internet picture.  I think that Sister Clinton was in the kitchen serving jello when this picture was taken, which leads us to...)

9.  Prepare green jello with shredded carrots and serve at a pot-luck.   I can't.  I just have to draw the line somewhere.  I am known for my jello skills, however, and I have also participated in many a pot-luck, so I get 1/2 credit.

10.  Funeral potatoes.  Yeah, baby!    (Sadly, THREE versions of this recipe landed in the family cookbook.  One submitted by yours truly.)

11.  Buy a huge vehicle. Just in case; we own both a minivan and a 12-passenger jobber.  Probably that was overkill--but we do all fit in the beluga, and that is a good thing.

 (I don't have the little family decals on the backs of them yet.  We're saving for them.  I won't qualify for Barbie until then, if ever.)
I know, I can hardly wrap my brain around it myself.  What a woman!  Unbelievable.

Next I'll need some vinyl lettering on my walls.

Finally, if I can just learn to tease my hair; and once I have my little "frontal enhancement" surgery, I should be as hard to spot as Waldo if I happen to find myself in a scary part of town.  If you can't beat-em, join-em!  (Plus, I already belong.  I really do love it here.)

 Luckily we didn't end up in what my friend calls a "Shiny-pretty ward."  This congregation shares burdens, serves lovingly, and no one needs to be perfect.  Rumor has it that there are select areas here where you have to be a Stepford wife or you'll be pecked to death in a matter of minutes.  I haven't seen it, though.  But I'm ready for it...kinda.   Maybe if I buy some lycra and loose about 75 lbs.

**The creators of this blog site apologize if anyone was offended by any of the comments above.  Nellie and it's subsidiary groups are in no way affiliated with Barbie Wannabees Anonymous.  Sorry about the indelicate mention of the boob-job thing.   There do seem to be a lot of billboards advertising this service in the Salt Lake area, however, and I've read that Utah is the #1 state for plastic surgery.  I'm just saying.**

She who is without sin should cast the first stone.  Did I mention that I sewed my girls some matching dresses?  Wow.


Kristen said...

The fact that they wore them in not only public but immortalized photos says how amazing you are!

Jeri said...

I really mainly did it because my Sister-in-Law did it for me when I got married. I don't remember much about our reception, but I DO remember all her cute little girls running around in handmade matching dresses all night.
My brother was getting married, and I thought it would be a cute thing to do for their wedding.
I'm done with matching stuff, now, as we did the Lagoon yellow shirts for the whole family, and then the matching yellow dresses. My nephew calls us the "yellow cousins" and my kids are about done with the cutesy stuff. Lagoon's attire was so I could keep track of everyone...

Cynthia said...

Jeri you are amazing. That was really funny. And the dresses were really cute. I agree with Kristen....the fact they all wore them was even better. I need to see more pic's of Adam's wedding...Did you post anymore?