Come into the Light!

Here are some spiritual thoughts I’ve had lately...I’ve been pondering free agency, and how to help our children have a desire to choose the right and serve the Lord.  

I came up with this idea:  I remembered what it was like to tour some of the underground caves that we’ve visited as a family.  There were so many interesting things to see, and it was exciting to be somewhere we hadn’t been before.  It was cool to see what it would be like in total darkness.  It was fun to hear stories from the guides and our fellow tourists about the cave.  You can learn a lot about light in the darkness.

It was a lot easier to go down the stairs into the cave than it was to climb out.  As we came out, it was almost painful to adjust our eyes to the light, as they’d gotten used to the darkness.  But we had to return to real life, as the cave is only one little aspect of the world around us, and is not a good place to stay.

I then wondered what would happen if one of us decided to spend most or all of their time inside the cave.  What physical, emotional, and spiritual conditions would result?  What if we were there long enough, with only tourists and a limited food, sound and visionary experience?  How would we change? Where would the meaning in our lives come from?  Could we eventually forget about the rest of the world, and the tones, textures, experiences, variety and experiences available outside the cave?  The longer we stayed in the cave, the more difficult it would be to climb out, and the harder it would be to adjust to life outside the cave.

But it would be worthwhile to climb out, no matter how difficult, and how long it had been!

Then I thought about Laman and Lemuel, vs. Alma the Younger and his friends in the Book of Mormon.  They all had very righteous parents and families.  They had many opportunities to hear the gospel, to experience the love of the Lord in their lives, and they all witnessed miracles and angels and blessings.  What made Laman and Lemuel decide to reject everything and metaphorically stay in a dark cave, while Alma and his friends embraced the truth and freedom and then devoted their lives to helping others become free from darkness?

I think that it was agency and their desires.

I think that when the scriptures say “Seek and ye shall find” they aren’t just talking about righteousness.  Agency enables us to have the desires of our hearts.  And we are the only ones who can ultimately choose what we desire.

It is such a blessing to know that Heavenly Father gives us every opportunity that He can to help us to choose happiness, freedom and bounty. The gospel of Jesus Christ can help us to expand our capacities and experiences, in contrast to the cave, which limits us the deeper we crawl into it.

The atonement allows us to turn and become new.  As parents, we can call down the powers of Heaven to help a child, but that child still needs to chose.

As parents, we can and should physically remove a child from the cave, and even prevent them from being in it for a time as they continue to grow and progress.  

We can show them all of the amazing things that the rest of the world has to offer.  We can teach and exhort and fast and pray and love and do inspired things in behalf of the child, but if that child desires the cave above all else despite our best efforts, eventually there will be nothing we can do to prevent him or her from it.

I wish I could pass along desire.  It would make it so much easier to keep my beloved children safe.

Of Pickles and Promptings

I have a dear Pentecostal Christian friend who has a talent for being able to hear promptings and serve friends as an instrument in God's hands.

My favorite story from her is the one where she was impressed to buy a specific, gigantic jar of pickles for a friend.  She felt sheepish and not a little stupid as she stood on her friend's doorstep with a big 'ole jar of pickles, until her friend burst into tears and told of how our dear Heavenly Father had shown her in a deeply personal way through that stupid jar of pickles that He was aware of her needs and concerns.


There is no better feeling than the one that comes as we serve each other as the Savior would.
I have several loved ones who have been in crisis situations lately, and my heart has burst with love and pain and concern for them.  I've spent time in fasting and prayer in their behalf, and have prayed specifically for ways to serve them. 

I've had a couple of situations where I felt prompted to do something, and had it turn out to be maybe just my own stupidity. It's so difficult to tell the difference, sometimes between an idea in my own head, and a prompting from the Holy Ghost.

 But if I'm fasting and praying for you, and I feel prompted to stop and get you a smoothie on the way home, I'll do it.  If you're not home when I get there, I'll eat the smoothie, no worries.  
It's almost as if the Lord was trying to see if I'd follow promptings, even with the uncomfortable threat of looking stupid.  I hope I showed Him that I was willing to trust and do my best.
When I felt prompted to act in behalf of one of my children lately, I did it, several times.  It was bewildering to me, and I felt even that it was making the child feel that I didn't trust them to make good choices.
Then, the prompting saved that child from disaster.

I then felt prompted to blog about it.  The words came easily, and it was uncomfortable, but there were several reasons that I could think of that it would be a good choice.

A couple of hours later, I felt that I should tell the child about the blog, and about my reasons for it.  We talked a lot about shame, and how it is an unproductive emotion.  We discussed the difference between sin and mistake.  I told her of the responses I'd gotten in such a short period of time, and of how many others had experienced similar situations, and I was able to show her how many REAL people love her and were praying for her.  

She said it was OK that I'd shared, but asked me to remove the blog, which I felt good about, and I did. (She was afraid siblings would tease her.)

I've gotten some flak about that choice, and I freely admit that maybe it was a mistake. I'm not perfect, and I'm still learning.

But I can't deny that I was prompted to blog that day, and I'm not sorry that I did.  

Heavenly Father has given P and I words to say and things to do to help this child.  He has gone out of His way to let us know that she is His child, and that He loves her, and that she is safe in His hands.

I'm here to bear my witness that God loves each of His children.  I know that Jesus Christ is able to help us in our pain, and with our sins and mistakes, because of the atonement.  He can make things right.
He will send others to help us, and there are angels in Heaven and on Earth that bless us in our darkest times. 
I'm so thankful when I am allowed to serve someone in His behalf.
I'm also very thankful for friends who support and pray for us.

Removed

Sorry, I removed this blog entry at the request of the child.  If you'd like to read it, I'll e-mail it to you.  It needed to be told, but I also need to honor her wishes.
jerianna@msn.com

It Happened to Us

The following blog post is an invasion of privacy, but needs to happen.  The child featured is very much loved, and we are relieved that she is safe.
No one ever thinks it will happen to them.  But it did.  12 year-old Princess was being groomed online by an adult male.  It was TWO YEARS in the making.

They met in a video game that can be played online.  It probably started with Webkinz and the idea that we can chat with other stuffed animal owners online.  Grrr...

"I'm sending you ten units of coal--I have extra."

"Oh, thanks!  I'll give you one of my cows."



No one gave out identifying information.  Everything was innocent.  He was her age, after all.  He was really nice.

Everything happened slowly and incrementally.  But she started feeling sneaky, and that's a turning point.

Then, a friend introduced Princess to a My Little Pony fan site, where she could post her stories and read others' writing.  So fun!  And, validating!  After all, everyone is anonymous, and REAL PEOPLE were liking and following her writings!

But to be anonymous, Princess had to open a new, "untraceable" e-mail account.  And be a little more sneaky.

Meanwhile, the online friend turned out to be a Bronie, and also loved her writing!  Amazing.  So she invited and friended him on that site, too. And he became a follower.  Again. (One of 123 followers!  Can you taste the bile, yet?)



It was a really good thing that he did, because Princess would then save his life when he was suicidal.  On the roof.  With a gun in his mouth.  By the way, my name is Sean.  You saved my life.

Because a 12 year-old brain can handle all of this drama, and won't lose site of the fact that IT'S NOT REAL.  Also, now we have a strong friendship, and a really strong emotional bond.  And each others' names.  (Oh, yes.  She did.)  And not only are you an amazing writer, but you saved my life.  Let's go somewhere private--let's start a hangout.

(Also, there was enough identifying information on the My Little Pony page, that a fellow Mormon started sending her uplifting messages and links. Oh, dear.)

So, meanwhile, on the private Hangout, Sean's friends started showing up.  And their friends.  So many Bronies!  (Sorry, men.  From now on, Brony means Pedophile to me. Because if you are a grown man, on a My Little Pony fanpage, you are a pedophile. Harsh, yes.  Sorry, Bro (ny).) Some that she mentioned were Nathan, Sean, Icy the Charmander, Firey the Trico, Vapor, and Forchan.

And here's where Mom comes in.  Mom is really, really slow, so God is patient with her.  She feels prompted to take away the Nook--even though Princess is just reading her scriptures on it!

But a few days later, Mom can't logically think of a reason to keep the nook, and it helps Princess to sleep if she's listening to music, so she stupidly gives it back.  I'm embarrassed to say that this happens about 3 times over a span of about 4 months, before Mom is smart enough to give the *%&$ Nook to Daddy (computer programmer) to check the history.

Also, Mom and Dad turn the internet off every night as they go to be so that things like this can't happen.  Except when the forget.  Also, did I mention that quite a lot of this actually went on at school, on their secure web site?

So, just before 12 year-old (23, really) "Sean" decided to announce that he just transferred to Princesses school, and wants to meet at the corner gas station, so tell your mom you're walking home, Princess gets the plug pulled.

But before anyone can pull any plugs, first Princess has to lie several times, in several ways, to her parents.  She won't admit anything until presented with hard evidence, which we have. (In her defense, things got so big so fast, she was painted into a corner and just didn't want to tell.)

And Princess finally "Ponies up" (forgive the pun.  It's really not funny.) and Mom and Dad find out a little more about how deep these roots go.  And they actually have no idea how much to believe, because of the whole lying thing.  But they write down web addresses, and passwords.  And they do it all with love, and without shame, because this is a life they are trying to save.  A twelve-year old life.
Also, in her defense, she didn't read any of the articles rated OVER 15.  WHAT!?! (On a My Little Pony Fan Page.  Her frontal lobe is just not developed.)


And they try to explain to the Princess about growth and development.  When  3 year-old tries to fly off a cliff in his batman suit, and the parents yank him back, it feels like they are taking away his freedom.  But they can see the dangers, even when he can't.   Then, his parents, who love him, teach him about aviation, and as he learns and grows (and realized that Batman can't even fly, and he can't fly, even if he has the appropriate cape) they help him to channel his passion for flight in a safe way, so that as an adult he can become a pilot if he's still interested in flying.

And this wonderfully gifted, artistic, creative, delightful girl has to trust.  She has to somehow get the idea that her parents love her and care about her and are trying to keep her safe, not destroy her fame, or fun, or remove her freedom.

She has to somehow have enough experiences with her loving Heavenly Father, so that she can really know who she is, and how precious she is to Him, so that she can bless the world with the talents that He gave her, without needing the approval of anyone else.  And then she will fly, and maybe help others to fly also.  She will fly with a purpose and a destination in sight.



Ultimately, even if she never has access to the Nook again, and trust me, she doesn't; and even if all of her electronic activities are monitored at home, she can do whatever she wants.  SHE has to decide, because she has access at school, and in a friend's home, and anywhere else she goes.

And, now what?
_____
And using those passwords and "Hangout Site", Mom and Dad find enough muck to make one want to throw up all over.  And one of the final things Princess says is, "I can't wait to meet you."
And every other word that Icy says is the F bomb.
So Mom goes to her "Standing" therapy session and finds out that if a pedophile is looking for little girls he/she will go to My Little Pony, and if looking for little boys, Star Wars.
We also get specifics about who to call.  And they come and take the Nook, and download info from the computers, and take the cell phone.
_____
Update 2-27-2017
I never reposted this, and many of the things I thought turned out to be different, but I'm including it in the book, right or wrong.  My book.