Printed in Letters Sarah Senior Tribute

Sarah 2021

 The year Sarah was born we were living in Massachusetts, and I had the greatest group of friends!  One of my best friends, Christy, had kids Mayli and Sam's ages and we spent a lot of time together. So when Christy and I discovered that we were both expecting and due only one day apart we were so excited!

Favorite newborn photo

2nd Favorite newborn photo (she made me include it)

The rejoicing was sobered in our 20th week when we discovered that Christy's baby boy had a lot of problems and probably wouldn't make it.  It became a sacred time as a I learned about faith, friendship and motherhood from my dear friend.

We were in labor together the night of the 18th, and as we spoke on the phone we were literally pausing at the same time to have contractions.  She called me around 10ish to tell me that they were heading to the hospital.  

I cried all night long and had contractions every 10 min. Every 10 minutes.  All night. No progress.  My doctor finally had mercy on me and told me to come in--she'd start me.  I was a wreck emotionally.

And then not even an hour after Sarah was born Christy called.  I was still in the delivery room.  I was surprised and touched at her thoughtfulness. My angel friend congratulated us, sent her love and gave me permission to be happy. I still can't believe that anyone can have that much grace. 

I felt so blessed to have this tiny, perfect baby.  Brock's funeral a few days later was terrible and beautiful.

The next days were really difficult.  I had postpartum depression, my legs were swollen and parts of me were cracked and bleeding.  Sarah was failing to thrive.  The pediatrician told me that my mom needed to stay at least another week. My mother was such a blessing and a strength to me!

Just before our moms left, Christy called and invited us to lunch.  She told us to bring Sarah Christine (who we'd named after her.). This was another beautiful thing that she did, which made it ok/normal for us to continue our friendship in a newly-strengthened, non-awkward way.  She even graciously took me up on my offer and occasionally snatched Sarah at church and took her to the mothers' lounge to rock and enjoy.  This made me feel like I had a way to serve her and helped with my "survivor's guilt." I can't imagine how hard it must have been for Christy.

My favorite part of this photo is the "writing on the wall" behind them!

Sarah was the most delightful baby!  She was so snuggly and happy.  I nursed her and supplemented with soy formula (she was sensitive to dairy and anything with flavor like everyone else) and she soon started to gain a little weight.  She was so pleasant to nurse--I had to force myself to wean her when she was almost 18 months old. I still love to snuggle up with her! Sarah has a powerful, loving presence.

She was born with a song in her heart and was always singing and dancing--as soon as she could sit up on her own she would do a little boogie thing that was so dang cute!

About the time she was one, we moved to Boise, ID.  

Sarah in Costume:

Sarah spent most of her early life in costume! At first it wasn't of her own choosing--there were 4 older kids who were loosely supervised at best.

As soon as she could, she started to dress herself.  And it was RARELY in actual clothing.

  

Sarah age 3

Alex the Lion came first.  We watched the movie Madagascar and listened to the song, "I Like to Move It" about 2,683 times that year.  She had some great dance moves, and was never happier than when she was wearing the costume and in FULL makeup to go along with it.  She was Alex the Lion almost every day for about a year.

Age 4

One of the best things that happened in Boise was the Breakfast Club that formed with a couple of good friends.  We all had 6 daughters, and belonged to very different religions.  It was so fun to have things in common and things that weren't, and we always had things to talk about. Sarah came along and spent a lot of time at Cracker Barrel.

She also started a fun preschool with a bunch of her friends, and we'd take turns teaching in our homes and go on little field trips once a month.  

She also started soccer with coach Daddy.

About the time she tired of being Alex the Lion, big sister Lizzy made her a new costume.

Link age 4

This was fun, because she would wear it to WalMart, where big teenagers would stop and whisper, "Look at that cute kid, she's LINK!" (From the Legend of Zelda)

Link was abruptly replaced one day by a sweaty pink dragon.  

Age 4-5

It was possibly the first appearance of a Pink Dragon in the Christmas Nativity Pageant at church.  (I wish I had a picture!) Luckily, we had a pretty outstanding Primary President, who had loved Sarah from the time she was her Nursery Leader, and who had even been known to play I Like to Move It in Primary when she'd been a Lion. Hooray for Shelley Martin!

We wondered if they'd allow a stinky pink dragon into Kindergarten, but luckily the phase (mostly) had ended, and I was able to wash the padded costume occasionally.

In Elementary school, Sarah consistently won awards like, "Class Peacemaker"

2010

Sarah had great experiences at school, until the day they researched names and their meanings.  She had always been the anti-princess who balked whenever a friend wanted to play barbies, paint nails or do anything remotely feminine.  So the girl came home from school one day and furiously announced that she'd learned the meaning of her name.  Sarah=princess  Worst. Day. Ever.

When Sarah was about 7 years old, we moved to Utah.

She spent a lot of time reading and acting out scenes from the Warriors cat books series with friends.  

She had a series of best friends who moved away, which was discouraging to her.

Her 5th grade year was spent with Mr. Asay, a remarkable teacher.  Here's Sarah in costume (again--temporarily) with a musket.  She learned a lot about history and patriotism.  

The fabulous Mr. Asay

5th Grade

 There was a boy in her class with autism who was being teased, and Sarah finally decided that she'd had enough.  She came home all wound up and wrote a letter to her class, explaining what autism is and telling them that it was not ok to tease.  The next day she asked Mr. Asay to read it, but he told her it would be more powerful if she read it instead.  She agreed and bravely read it to the class.  She was worried afterward, because she cried a little and it was embarrassing.  But it made a big impact on her class.

I have a dear friend in Boise whose son Drew has autism and he had been experiencing a similar situation.  He'd asked a boy at school if he'd be his friend if he made him a bracelet.  The boy rejected Drew's offer, and he was devastated.  My friend took Drew out to dinner to make him feel better, and a waitress explained the situation to some bikers who happened to also be at the diner.  They asked Drew if he'd make them a bracelet, and told him they wanted to be his friends.  My friend posted the story about her son on Facebook and his story had really touched Sarah.  Thousands of people were asking Drew for bracelets and reaching out to be his friend.  

I asked Mr. Asay if we could make some bracelets to send to Drew and some to exchange as a class. He allowed me to come into the classroom to do this.  We promised as a class that when we saw someone with special needs being teased or bullied, we'd stand up for them and be their friend.

I was so proud of Sarah and the lives she touched!

*By this time, she'd also been friends for about year with a girl from Japan who she was trading supplies with in an online game.  They weren't exchanging personal information.

Sixth grade was a bit of a struggle with her teacher, who was retiring that year, had some personality clashes with Sarah and was a little difficult to deal with.  Sarah worked really hard to get along with her, and by the end of the year they were friends.  It was a tricky situation and she handled it with a lot of maturity.

Sarah decided to attend Maeser Prep, a charter school, which required a uniform, and a little extra time and effort.  She had super teachers and some crazy-fun friends!  

She was a great student, creative and quickly recruited for the printcom (yearbook/newsletter) group and as a member of the Hope Squad.  She was also a peer tutor for a boy with autism.  

Things started to unravel in her life for a time.  Skim the small print if you want to.

She was (mis)diagnosed with ___.  The medicine she started didn't work. This was the beginning of a long mental health journey.

The Japanese girl she was playing online with had targeted Sarah. He wasn't Japanese and was definitely NOT a girl.  He and a couple of other men met up with her again on a My Little Pony Fan Fiction page, then carefully isolated her on Google Hangouts and continued to groom/abuse/manipulate/educate her.  They made plans to meet up in person.  Thankfully we caught it before it happened.  They did a lot of damage and stole her innocence. In a twist of irony the "Internet Safety" poster she'd created at school that week was leaning against the wall as the police interviewed us and packed up the electronics. We started group therapy at the Children's Justice Center, a place of healing and learning.  I can't say enough good about that organization!

Our ward boundaries were changed and Sarah became miserable at church.

Over the next few years, Sarah had her tonsils out, surgery on her nose to help her breath better, gastrointestinal procedures, etc. Pick a medical issue, chances are she decided to experience it.  So many medical things. This was NOT helpful to her overall wellbeing.

She was so depressed,  was having extreme anxiety and manic episodes.  Her various medications were barely touching it and having severe side-effects. A traumatic experience on the school grounds added another trigger to the list.

Sarah missed most of her 9th grade year of school.  But she didn't fail.  And she didn't die.  

I included the rough stuff because it's part of her story. It made her who she is. It wasn't public like a cancer diagnosis or terrible accident would have been.  There were no fun-runs on her behalf, and no Sarah Strong bumper stickers.  

What DID happen was a young child was attacked on two fronts, by evil, and by mental illness, and that child fought HARD.  She worked with teachers and administrators, therapists and doctors. And she emerged a strong, successful, beautiful human.

There were some really kind acts of love shown by friends and family that meant a lot when it felt like she'd been forgotten; many teachers and leaders who really went out of their way to let her know that she was loved.

Sarah changed schools her Sophomore year to get a fresh new start with old friends. She went back to the public HS. Her Senior year she only needed 3 credits to graduate, so she decided to take concurrent enrollment classes through UVU the entire year. Covid added another dimension of wonky to her entire Jr High/HS experience.  She's gonna love being an adult!

Sarah's learned how to truly see people, and learned compassion.  She's a good friend, especially to those who feel marginalized. 

She learned how to be comfortable in her own skin.  She figured out how to be exactly who she is without shame.  She can agree to disagree and still do it lovingly, even if she has to unfriend her own mother on FaceBook to keep her sanity. (sigh) 

She's incredibly likeable!

And Sarah learned that she's SMART.  When the dust started to settle, she looked around and noticed that school is easy for her when it's all she has on her plate.

Her exceptional artistic gifts have helped her heal and have also brought color, fun, money and further educational opportunities. The fun times are back.

Cosplay costume she made for ComiCon before stupid COVID shut down all the fun

She's introduced hedgehogs, liberal politics, awesome music, stunning art, henna tattoos, naughty words, new rules, LBGTQ+ youth and discussions, incredible fun, massive joy, melodicas, new viewpoints, quirky humor and a tiny bit of trauma into our family.  We need the unique gifts she brings.  She's one of the most delightful people I know!

A sampling of things I love about Sarah:

1.  Her sense of humor--She could seriously be a stand-up comedian!  The click-bait texts that she sends in tantalizing pieces throughout the day keep me rolling.  Her off-the-cuff comments and quick retorts are killers!  Just now when I was trying to make the pictures on this blog entry work out, she said, "You've got to take the pictures in a shady place."

"A shady place!?! Like, where?"

"Well, about the only place around here that I can think of is the State Liquor Store."

Then she turned off the lights to make it shady.

2.  Her ability to call BS and handle it swiftly and appropriately.  Some day I'll write the one about Slick Willy the Mall Kiosk Sales Guy and Sarah's quick thinking burst about being "bald soon anyway, you know, in solidarity with her child who has cancer which is why we don't need it" as she grabbed me out of his greasy clutches and saved me from buying a dumb curling iron I didn't want while I reached for my credit card as if in a panicked trance. She saved my life that day! 😄

3.  Sarah's artistic gifts.  She just seemed to easily toss out a 3D printer design creation for a contest and won a $400 scholarship for it. She sketches, paints, animates, does vocal animation, crafts, sews, writes.  She creates.  Somehow she visualizes and then makes it appear.  This will never cease to amaze me.

4. She's a hard worker, and sees ways to help.  This made her successful at Sonic, as a babysitter/Mother's Helper for a large family, and really helps me here at home when life gets crazy and she gets into a cleaning fit.

5. Sarah's loyal, and a good friend.  She's a lot of fun to be around.

She's graduated with a 3.8 GPA and more than a year of concurrent enrollment credits.  She'll continue at UVU this fall, with an academic scholarship, as one of a select few in the Honors Program, majoring in Computer Science, possibly becoming a game developer.

Her life will never be boring!  We're so pleased with the choices she's made and the woman she's becoming.

We love you Sarah!  Congratulations!