When you've tried everything else you can think of, smackdown comes just before juvie.
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| Small packages contain big personalities |
We have removed all of her privileges and belongings, and she can earn them back with obedience and submission. (Oh, I love the way that sounds--submission. What a great word. SUBMISSION!!!)
This is the document that currently hangs on the refrigerator: (Some incriminating details have been changed to protect some innocent--and some not so much.)
P's Privileges:
Pillow
2 Blankets
Clothes for 1 day
Shoes
Breakfast, lunch, dinner
Safety
Love
Bedtime 7:30
| We have to pretend that this is a representation of her room. She actually shares with 3 sisters, so it is not anything remotely close to this. |
P's To-Do List:
Go to school on time with neighbors
No Tantrums
Homework
Job #1 Dishwasher
Job #2 Bedroom
Job #3 Front yard
No fights
Bedtime 7:30
Obey
Ways to Earn:
Extra Jobs
No Strikes (3 strikes you're out for the day--+1 job.)
Obedience
P's Things To Earn:
Pillow #2
Body Pillow
Bedtime 8:00
Bedtime 8:30
2 jobs (instead of 3)
1 job (instead of 2)
Shower alone
Comb own hair
PJs
Shirts
Pants
Underwear drawer
Shoes
Bike
Helmet
Ride bike to school
Scooter
Trampoline
Friends
TV
Computer
Birthday Party
I'd like to thank my friend Emily back east for the idea, my friend Jana for remembering that Lil' P's birthday is coming up, and for the therapy and advice. Also, thanks to my mother for never doing a smackdown to me. 'Course, I never needed one. I do, however need a padded cell, with a small cot.
One more thought: Lil' P was nonchalant and belligerant about the whole thing until she heard that she would be reduced to only one pillow. That was the breaking point for her. ONLY ONE PILLOW! Oh, the horror!
Who knew?
3 comments:
Sometimes whispering works. Sometimes it takes drastic action.
Having almost lived through the raising of my own Little P, you remember him, the one with personality, I have found that a whole lot of whispering, teeth gritting, and deep breathing often followed by screaming and yelling on my part usually smacks the beast down.
NO YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO ACT LIKE THAT.MAKE ANOTHER CHOICE!!!
It is worth all the blown gaskets. Now I only have to be firm ALWAYS and scream back about once or twice a week.
The Wild Thing is going to become a grown human I can be proud of eventually even at home. (Yeah the world thinks he is pretty cute. I know.)
Hang in there. Remember how cute she was once back before she was mobike and verbal? She'll get there again. You'll probably be too dead to notice, but....
Mobike mobile whatever.
I need to know that it gets better. I cried multiple times today because I was a lousy parent to Henry today (and many days) and he was a lousy son to me today (and most days). And I don't know what else to do. Can I initiate smackdown on a 3 year old?
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