THIS is not a funny entry. Also, nothing grateful or uplifting or profound. No cute clip art.
This is a rant, pure and simple. Also, redundant. It must be said.
Why is there a conspiracy going against me mopping the floor!?!
Seriously. I started the job yesterday. It was abandoned so that Little P could throw a tantrum. Then the window of opportunity slammed shut. The beautiful island of clean created then was destroyed this morning when some dang kid decided to bring the entire tupperware container of SUGAR to the table for everyone's eating enjoyment.
I just finished now, after interruptions of poop, oranges, boogers, graham crackers, essential art projects, vital spelling questions and other miscellaneous trials.
The final 10 minutes, which should have taken ONE minute, was spent with a crying baby hanging by my left leg.
Is there a list somewhere in the child handbook of tasks that MUST NOT be allowed? Sewing, mopping, writing, talking on the phone, aerobics, sex?
I need a massage.
HEY, NELLIE!!! Warning words you'll hear at our house just before your full name.(While I'm still trying to remember it.) Stop while you're still ahead, rascal.
3 comments:
oh my gosh jeri. i love you! this is too too funny. i know it's not supposed to be, but it is! hang in there, one day there will be no children left and you will want any and every excuse to not mop the floor.
Hey I mopped my floor today too. Five minutes before my lunch date showed up. I also had to dry it. I'll be mopping again around May Day. You can join me then.
PS I did not finish the dishes before she arrived. She did not seem to care and went into rapture over cut up fruit served over icecream with some almonds on top. Why did I mop the floor?
When I mop the floor I say to the kids, "Careful- stay off or you'll slip" they hear "go get your 'slippers' on and then have a ball!" so it doesn't matter where they are or what they're doing within 10 seconds of the mop water ran they are all doing the 'annie' back and forth the wet floor in their spiderman/cars/princess slippers. ps, they've never seen annie- it just comes natural. Very annoying but easier to mop around than boogers, art, and poop I think. ps- if your legs turn purple enough you can hire an innocent girl to mop for you- and then explain the slipper phenomenon with a 'good-luck' shrug.... -brenda
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